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Ash Sharp

God save the Queen, the fascist regime.

As it happened, it appears The Sex Pistols were 40 years early, and about 400 miles too far south with their assessment of the undemocratic nature of Britain. The fascism in the United Kingdom lives not in Buckingham Palace, nor even in the hearts of the bin-bag wearing Mosque door-steppers, Britain First.

It lives in the mind of a petite scotch lady with a penchant for power suits. A microcosmic tartan-clad Clinton. Fascism lives in Scotland, under the regime of a political party that is both Socialist and Nationalist at once. What could go wrong with such a combination?


The cry of humans yearning for freedom is intrinsically tied to the Scottish experience. This is partly thanks to the descendants of Scottish emigrants around the world, and also to the popularity of a certain movie featuring a particularly red-pilled Australian playing William Wallace. Even the anthem Flower of Scotland dubs the Scots as brave fighters for liberty, ready to see off the encroachment of cheeky wee English devils from the south.

All the more interesting then, that one of the most curious explorations into the modern understanding of freedom of speech has taken place in this country. The curious case of Mark Meechan, a pug named Buddha, and Adolf Hitler, transcends merely the price for transgressing polite public conduct. Meechan and Buddha have found themselves built into a bête noir; ironic, as Buddha is tan in color.

I'll describe the gist of the tale in short, in case you are not familiar. Mark Meechan makes YouTube videos as a hobby, under the name Count Dankula. Yes, he doth smoke the Devil's Lettuce. His girlfriend owns a small pug, named Buddha. Mark likes the dog very much. Mark's girlfriend likes the dog very much. She thinks he is very cute. Meechan -being quite the joker- decided to change this reality slightly, for comedy effect. For a giggle, Meechan has trained Buddha to behave like a Nazi. A Nazi pug. An Uberpug. Buddha now responds to phrases like 'Jews' and 'Do you want to gas the Jews' by turning his head, thinking a treat might be coming. He is a dog, let it be said again for clarity. He is utterly unaware of what a Nazi actually is, just as he is incapable of reading Mein Kampf- or Das Kapital, for that matter.

Not that this matters to alleged 'magazine' Vice.


Oh, it's weird alright. It's very, very weird you think a dog can be a Nazi.

Buddha will also imitate the Roman Salute with better accuracy than most Neo-Nazi Live Action Role Players when given the command, 'Sieg Heil'.

Incredibly, you cannot even share the original video from Meechan's channel. YouTube have removed the ability to do so, even going so far as to remove the ability to embed the video in articles like this one.

When Meechan made the video, his channel audience was small. As happens with funny videos, Buddha being a Nazi went viral, and Meechan found his YouTube channel growing apace. The video also came to the attention of the Scottish Police.

Arrested for violating hate-speech laws, Meechan has been subjected to multiple court dates, the most recent of which have carried with them the possibility of Meechan not returning home and being sent straight to jail.

He lives in a country where the state will take an interest in a video of a dog performing tricks. We can admit the humor is risque, but what is at stake here is curious in the extreme. Who, exactly, is the butt of the joke in Mr. Meechan's video?


It is not Jewish people. It cannot be Jewish people unless we are now to say that to mention the word 'Jews' is offensive. Is the word Jew offensive? Is it only offensive when spoken by non-Jews? Perhaps it is the phrase 'Do you want to gas the Jews' which is the problem. If this is the case, then it can only be the case that regardless of context, the words 'gas the Jews' is always offensive. In many cases, this will be an offensive phrase, particularly if it is said with venom, in public, to incite people to carry out violence or promote anti-Semitism. It cannot be so, that to say 'gas the Jews' is always offensive. If that is the case, then I may be arrested (were I in Scotland) for writing these words down, as should the writers of all the other articles about this case. Context has to matter, or nothing makes sense at all, and we live in a society without meaning.

Is training a pug to respond to 'Do you want to gas the Jews' anti-Semitic?

The butt of Mr. Meechan’s joke is not Buddha the dog, nor is it his girlfriend (who no doubt has the patience of several saints). The butt of Meechan's joke is the Nazis. It is called irony, the Scottish court should look it up. Incidentally, so should the Mirror, the Telegraph And the Mail Online.

This is definitely what we should focus on. Not context. Context is for Nazis.

It requires an uncharitable reading of this comedy sketch in extremis to extrapolate anti-Semitism. The title of the video should be enough to indicate the comedian's intent; Mate, your dog is a Nazi. (Translation from Scotch- mine.)

There exists such a concept as dog-whistling, which is to say that there is a hidden subtext to a piece of art, or an article or even a tweet, which secretly conveys another meaning to other extremists. This allows you to accuse someone of just pretending to not be a Nazi while mocking Nazis, because really you are a Nazi after all. Irony; a sketch featuring an actual dog is accused of being a Nazi dog-whistle. Hitler loved dogs too, you know.

Does your dog want to build the thousand-year Reich?

I will go further, and argue that Meechan unintentionally presaged the leftist lunacy of 2017 with their punch a Nazi rhetoric, and is mocking the hysterical Antifa activists and other proponents of violence too. Although the video in question is now over two years old, watch it again and remember that people have been assaulted for the suspicion of being a Nazi.

The concept of the joke is that Buddha the pug is a Nazi. Pugs are very silly dogs indeed. They look silly. They act silly. Therefore Nazis are silly. The people who want to punch Nazis are also silly. Silliness begets silliness and now, stupidity, as Meechan is facing jail for making edgy jokes. As a writer who enjoys a joke as much as the next guy, I am most annoyed at having to explain a joke. Imagine how Mr. Meechan has felt, for the last two years. Imagine having to go to the same party over and over again, where the same boorish prigs demand you explain a joke you made two years ago.

The curiosity is not that the state is too humorless to spot that Meechan is mocking Nazis by training a pug to imitate their salute. The curiosity is that the state is making an example of Mr. Meechan. Not out of revulsion against anti-Semitism or opposition to the Nazis; oh no. Mr. Meechan will be the example to show what can happen to you if you step out of line.

The whiff of religious bigotry is easy to find in some parts of Scotland. Sectarianism between Catholics and Protestants runs deep. This long-running blood feud has not been targeted with the same level of resources as has Meechan and his evil Nazi dog. Occasionally the police will denounce anti-papist songs of the fans of Glasgow Rangers. We must ask, what is the motivation here? Scotland has no history of Anti-Semitism, beyond the support for Palestinian rights among the supporters of Glasgow Celtic Football Club.


I contend that this court case contains a hidden message. A dog-whistle to all citizens, if you will.

The longer this case drags on and the more notorious and misreported it becomes in the press, the greater the impact of Meechan's sentence will be; should he be found guilty and jailed. Such a case will send a message to all Scotland- don't speak about any other religious or ethnic group; no matter what. There will be a new crime on the books. You will be charged with being white while in charge of an edgy sense of humor. Meechan is far from the first Scot to be a comedian on the cusp of taste and decency. Frankie Boyle to name but one has made a career from offending sensibilities at will, with jokes about cot death, incest, rape – the list goes on. What separates Boyle from Meechan is that Boyle is overtly politically left-wing, with a column in The Guardian newspaper to espouse his views, whilst Meechan has resolutely ignored inquest into his political leanings and was, up until now, a private citizen.

As we see today, this is a damning indictment of Scottish society that to be protected from the state, you must be a tribalist of some variety. If Meechan had performed his sketch while having previously declared his allegiance to a group- almost any group- then he would have had the support of that interest group to fight his case to the press, to the public. As it stands, Meechan is, like most people, merely a citizen. A citizen who wanted to make his friends laugh. There is nothing more tragic to my mind, that a supposedly free society is punishing individuals when they have done no harm- although as we see, the Scottish state is claiming that words are literally harmful in this case.


But who benefits? Politically, The Scottish National Party (SNP) is a separatist party with pro-European Union leanings and a pro-immigration stance; as most leftist parties are in Europe. Benefitting as the Democrats in the United States do from a strong base among migrants and descendants of migrants, Meechan and his dog represent a great opportunity for the SNP to forge a weapon with which to purge the land of those who would dissent against their policies. There can be no other explanation for the obsessive pursuit of Mr. Meechan by own government. The motive is not to protect any group from evil men who wish to incite bigotry. It is about control. It is a public flogging on the altar of modern multicultural society.

Two Jews, The Ayatollah Khomeini, and Caitlyn Jenner's lawyer walk into a brothel.

If you are unable to make jokes, you are unable to speak your mind.  If the state is able to interpret this comedy video as a hate-crime, then you may not speak against, for example, disproportionate crime rates among migrant populations. That too will be a hate crime. You may not speak about the predilection of Pakistani males to rape white children. This is a hate-crime. This case is not concerned with a man saying the word 'Jew'.

This case is the state of Scotland against the idea of being offensive itself. Being offended is no longer possible, as all offensive behavior is against the law. You are not offended. You are the victim of a crime- even if you are not the target of a joke, you can be offended on behalf of your conception of the alleged target of the joke. Though I am averse to bringing up the topic of race, we would no doubt see a different response from the state if Meechan was an ethnic minority. A sad thing to say. Worse, that it is undoubtedly true.

If the Scottish legal system fails Mr. Meechan and jails him for the crime of mocking Nazis on the internet, the Flower of Scotland no longer will represent the land of the free. It will become a symbol co-opted and perverted by a fascistic state, just as the Third Reich co-opted and perverted the swastika. No one will be able to crack a joke in Scotland for fear of being misunderstood, misrepresented or taken out of context.

In an effort to purge herself of bigotry, Scotland will become what she claims to hate the most.

I think that's what they call ironic. Good luck, Count Dankula. Good luck, Buddha. Thanks for the laughs, and long may they continue.

The Editor

by The Editor